a_driftamongopenstars | Recent Entries

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Just a blog about Skyrim, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Dishonored and other gaming adventures I have

I also share gifs and screenshots of my OCs with occasional fanfiction :)

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year everyone!

As always, my round-up post is in order for 2020... but frankly, there isn't much to write this time. With lockdown, with political events in my country and with a severe lack of adventure in my life this year, I don't know what to talk about. So I'll talk about little things!

I learnt some new skills and rekindled old ones - like 3D modeling and cross stitch. Kind of want to pick up crochet next year again!
We finally got Spotify in our country, so I made quite a few playlists for most of my OCs and games I like;
I did some creative journaling, less than previously, but I managed to finish a whole notebook this year, and that pleases me;
I got a color printer! Which I used to print all the things for my creative journaling as well as planning for my own art sticker printables next year;
Played a few new video games as well as old ones to maintain my mental health;
Started doing a little sidegig that I don't want to go into details about, but it's a small pleasant accomplishment for me!
Sort of got a raise at work but not yet?

These are my little advancements in life! I hope that this terrible year gave you at least something nice to look back to! And here is hoping 2021 turns the tides and we set out on a path of recovery, reconstruction and rebuilding.

Current Mood: drained

In preparation for the next Dragon Age installment, I'm trying to get as many diverse playthroughs as I can. Which is hard, because I just refuse to make certain choices!

But still, I just finished DAO and DA2 playthroughs I really enjoyed.

Ceres Cousland - a warrior princess, married to Alistair and ruling Ferelden alongside him! This has been a very fun playthrough for me, because I've put a lot of thought into what Ceres is like, what her story and relationships are like. I know she is very much her father's daughter and misses him dearly. She has also always been wanting more for her life, but unsure of how to find it. Becoming the Queen and being on her own with responsibility of decisions definitely helped her a lot.

Besides, this is the first time I got around to playing Awakening and other DLCs and I adored it. Awakening needs more attention! I love many of the companions and the story is chef's kiss.

Briar Calanthe Hawke - a mage and a hedge witch. I loved exploring her story and it was rather heartbreaking for me as well. Where my first Hawke was laughter and kindness and piercing words, Briar is nothing but kindness and love for her family. She could use a little "me" time, but after running away with her lover Anders this may have to wait a bit.

Now I'm trying to figure out where to go with a DAI protagonist. I really want to have a Lavellan to romance Solas because of his involvement with all the upcoming events. So I might just do that! I have so many Lavellans though!

In any case, I'll probably make some kind of a meme later to fill out more information about all my DA OCs :)

Tumblr is down, so I'm back on Dreamwidth to share a range of my thoughts.

This has been quite a year! Frankly, an atrocious one. Good thing we have videogames? I haven't done as much writing as I wanted to, because I'm so exhausted all the time. I did do some art and some creative journaling and played new videogames. I'm already trying to decide what will be my holiday gaming choice, either something new (Kingdom Come Deliverance/) or from my backlog (Bioshock? Fallout 4?)

Or I'll just keep playing Dragon Age, haha. I need to have a Solavellan palythrough before Dragon Age 4 arrives!

Whenever the world becomes a little too much, I always find myself turning to dreamwidth. It's such a calm and quiet fandom space. And makes me feel creative!

One of my favourite consumption concepts are the ideas of two cakes.

Sure, we have Dragon Age, we have the Witcher, Skyrim and so many other amazing games that take a fantasy setting and make it their own. And then we have smaller scale (or on the scale of dev teams) games that keep doing that. So we get not just one cake, but two - and we also get to eat them!

I kind of want to make it my goal this year to explore more of small scale games. How often do these games that fall under the radar actually present an incredibly solid story? So often. One of my favourite examples is Dreamfall. This game seems to be entirely unknown on social media where I'm present, people make big eyes because they've never heard of it (and the first game of the trilogy dates back to 90s). Yet, this is one of the most compelling, interesting, well done stories I've ever experienced. The games are beautiful beyond measure - but who's heard of them? Where's fandom, where are fandom creations? It's like the Void.

So anyway, let's eat that cake?

I started playing a new game, Greedfall, and wanted to share some of my thoughts!

Before buying the game, I looked up some reviews and wow, were they rather different. Some say the game aimed too high and didn't quite get there, others say it landed in a perfect place with so few resources.

My opinion is a mix of both! I think the devs aimed really high indeed (AAA studio game no less) and almost hit it, but to a point where the game has a flaw here and there, which doesn't make it unplayable or unenjoyable. Quite the contrary, I think it's an amazing game for all the Bioware fans.

RPG? Check. Consequences? Check. Combat and looting system? Check. Tons of dialogue, relationships? Check. Beautiful view? Check, check, check.

I'm still in the beginning, learning more about my companions, picking up new ones and exploring the world, but things slowly start making sense.

I'll share more in-depth thoughts later, for now have a couple of pictures of my character, Weslee de Sardet :)

A few months ago I finally decided to create an Inquisitor to romance Blackwall, her name is Sylani Lavellan and I love her so much. It became truly one of my favourite playthroughs and I am so entirely fond of that romance choice!

How on Earth is Blackwall so underrated? I swooned every step of his romance path and I will probably never stop swooning.

Of course, behind the more cryptic (Solas) or infamous romance choices (Dorian, Cullen), he may seem like not being up on the line, but wow he is.

My Inquisitor, first of all, made a couple of choices I don't normally make (going templar route, drinking from the well, putting Celene and Briala back together), and despite picking templar side, I consider her one of the most benevolent mage-right fighting Inquisitors in my "collection". All that together made her an amazing match and partner to Blackwall. And her dynamic with him is so sweet and beautiful, and his story shines even more with romance brought into it. How he treats the Inquisitor? Absolutely amazing, we need more of that respect women juice in video games.

In conclusion, aaaaa?

Might share some screenshots and/or gifs later!

I started this blog last December or so, and I haven't been quite active here as on other platforms. Would love to rectify that and continue sharing my thoughts on videogames and such, how about that? :D

I have some new Skyrim characters and screenshots, some from Dragon Age and some from Destiny 2!

I love games with a deep and extensive lore. It’s never an easy task to populate a world with enough background to keep it going beyond a single game (or even a line up of several). And I know only a handful of such games, created either by a small studio or a larger one, that succeeded in creating a truly solid world.

Right now all my attention (well, most of it! :D) is in Dragon Age. I never got to finish either the Descent or the Jaws of Hakkon DLCs for Dragon Age Inquisition and I’ve just finally completed both. How. Damn. Amazing these additions are?? I’m always a sucker for lore, especially if it shakes the foundation of what we’ve come to know already. And it’s not a simple “let’s make a twist just for the sake of it”. It fits, it makes sense.

And I can’t help but think of my Inquisitor Theseus’ reaction to everything that he’s experienced, from learning about the source of lyrium to meeting the first Inquisitor, Ameridan. I can just imagine the trip back to Skyhold and Theseus’ baffled state, impossible admiration for facing someone so grand, lost to history. An elf, with dalish tattoos, 800 years old and a faithful member of the chantry - this is stunning. Theseus is stunned, I say! :D

Lately I have been lamenting that I didn't have enough time to read books. Because, you know, reading is important, and when you don't get to finish at least a book a month or even once in half a year, you feel like you've let yourself down.

But it doesn't mean I'm not developing via other means? When I don't have time to read, maybe I'm doing something else. Mostly playing video games, of course, also playing D&D and just working on other random projects. Those, too, are the means of learning new stories and developing oneself.

I feel like games don't get enough credit for this and often left out of the queston of self-improvement entirely; and instead blamed for everything ever. It's so very unfair, because there are people, developers, who put immense amount of hours and effort into telling a story that you will finish in maybe 150 hours of gameplay and that fit in just 50 gb of space on your computer. But in those 150 hours you will learn as much as any book might teach you. Relationships, plots, choices, eye candy - there is so much games offer. The majority of my creativity and imagination has been built off video games since I was a child, and books were only a pleasant contribution when I could sit myself and enjoy a story through pages.

And what a fantastic means of storytelling gaming is! There are puzzles, RPGs, shooters, walkers and simulators. You either create your own story or you journey through one already written for you. You take the game and turn it into a skeleton of your own adventure, you "headcanon" additions on top of it and create variations and branch the story off. Perhaps, games steal a bit of the visual imagination, but only a little. Artists visualise concepts that they come up with while gaming, writers build whole new stories with their own vision, and none of those stories are the same.

I just find it fascinating and so very underrated and admirable.

Yes, I also played a lot of Dragon Age lately to lead me to those thoughts! :D

Current Mood: thoughtful

Hello Dreamwidth community! I have kind of abandoned this space and now I feel like posting again, sharing some writing and life updates as well as game related rants.

Anyone still around here? :)

The plot thickens in my Skyrim playthrough. I've done so many quests and they just keep appearing, it's insane. But it is very pleasing to look at a map with quite so many markers.

And it means I have a lot of stories to write. They'll be pretty random, some from before Skyrim time (what I can write for my OC anyway) and some encounters from earlier and later days.

This one is about the battle of Whiterun after I sided with the Empire and had to fight Ulfric's men.

Xillith/Lydia; T; - Under the Gildergreen tree - 381 words

Long after the battle is over, Xillith slumps onto a bench under the Gildergreen tree and exhales. Everything hurts tremendously, from the burning wounds that Stormcloaks delivered to the lungs that hurt from ash of the burning buildings. By now most fires are out, but the skies are gray still.

At least here under Gildergreen she feels more or less safe and relaxed. Lydia sits beside her and looks up at the Dragonsreach.

“I wondered when we would have to stand ground for the city,” she says thoughtfully, turning her dark eyes at Xillith.

“Is it strange that I feel like I was protecting my home?” she asks, surprised at the straightforward honesty of her own.

“I don’t know. You do spend a lot of time here.”

“But this is not… home, not exactly. Home is Lakeview Manor. Home is back with the Black Sparrows, at least, it used to be. It is so strange to feel at home in Whiterun with barely any ties to it.”

Lydia only smiles as Xillith keeps talking, and the Dragonborn falls quiet too. It’s not like her to be quite so open, perhaps, the bluntness of the battle made her blunt too.

“In other words, when Balgruuf suggested I make Whiterun my home, I was almost halfway pulling out my coin pouch.”

Both her and Lydia laugh, moving closer to each other and lacing their fingers together. Lydia’s hands are a little rough, but so are Xillith’s. She rests her head on Lydia’s shoulder and closes her eyes.

So many goals set ahead, yet Xillith finds herself caught in a whirlwind of a war she didn’t much care about up until later. Taking up the Imperial oath and committing to the cause was not on her plan, yet she finds herself invested. She wants to help. She feels it is right.

Gildergreen tree sways softly in the wind and spreads its sweet blossoms and fragrance in the ashen city. Tomorrow it will bloom brighter and the sun will warm it. And the city will be as it was again. But right now in this moment, wounded and holdings its wounded soldiers, Whiterun truly feels like home, and Xillith consoles it in a way she knows best - by protecting it and by keeping it safe.

Today is the last day of this year - good riddance, I say!

I have a tradition of writing a wrap up post about all the positive (or not so) things that happened to me throughout the year, and it feels good to realise that I have some big things on my list that are a step up the ladder in my life.

This year started with me leaving a relationship of 5 years because I realised I was worth so much and it just wasn't working
Which was followed by getting together with a wonderful person who I proudly call my girlfriend <3
I GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY AND AT LONG LAST MY STUDIES CAREER FINISHED AFTER SO MANY YEARS, THANK GOD
My job had some changes in management and etc; which led to me having my workload improved and my salary too :>
This one may be an odd one, but I didn't make any new friends (as in people to talk to on a more or less regular basis). What I did instead was strengthening connections with people I already know and removing toxic people from my life. Worked like a charm!

This is about major things. Some smaller things that I feel important to mention:

We sold my piano, which is still very saddening, but I feel like it's a good thing
I started watching Critical Role, which I absolutely adore
And as a result, I played my first ever DnD campaign! I love it and I want to play more!
I cleared up my gaming backlog a little and got even more games, I am gaming trash ops
I wrote a lot. My AO3 word count is 93 581 words, there have been plenty of little prompt fills on Tumblr that I didn't post on AO3 and right now I can't gather the word count for it (let's call it 3k), and I was working on a personal novel which is as of now over 170k at the very least. There was even more unpublished stuff, like my Nanowrimo (which I definitely will post next year) + some other fics I didn't quite finish, which adds around 26 410. This makes my year word count over 280k AND THIS IS INSANE. I am really happy!
While by the end of the year I barely did any art, I improved my art skill a lot in general, thanks to people who kindly guided me to where I could learn more.
I journaled a lot, tried many new techniques in art journaling and started my YouTube channel. I abandoned it for now, but I hope that next year I'll do better and find time and energy for it.

And this was my year. A little bit overly eventful, rich, but... good, to an extent. There were some other things, really important, that happened, but I think they fall into 2019 as they all lead to events further there.

I don't want to do any resolutions, I'm not so good at them anyway, I just hope to continue working on being a better person and making my life richer with memories, skills and good people! Happy New Year everyone :) I hope you had a good 2018, even if nothing at all happened, and that 2019 treats you well.

happy holidays everyone! this is my last fic this year, I hope you enjoy! this is for all my readers and for those who love corvosider;

until we kiss again (on ao3)

Here and there Dunwall Tower is decorated with gleaming bits and bobs, glass ornaments and lush branches of pine trees, draped and weaved with silken red ribbons. Yuletide has arrived swiftly and almost unnoticed for the Empire, and it is only by the hardworking hands of the Tower staff that the interior looks festive.

There was a wonderful hearty dinner and one too many glasses of punch that Corvo downed in celebration. He is not drunk, only a little tipsy and smiling more than he usually does.

Up on his way to the roof he passes a suit of armor, its helmet decorated with a simple pine tree wreath and a large red silken sash. Heavy curtains are hanging loose, and Corvo pushes one a little aside to look out of the window. Down in the yard snow is falling heavily, piling up in smooth snowdrifts that no one will disturb until tomorrow morning. The city is blurred through the frosty glass, and lights look magical in the darkness of the night. Lamps are lit low in the hall, and there is something wonderfully magical and Yule-like eerie about this time of night.

Surreal, at the very least.

Corvo stumbles through an entryway, apologizing to a door casing he accidently hit with his forehead. As a memory of the accident he now has a red bump on his forehead and dull pain.

“My, my, Corvo, I have not even stepped under the mistletoe and you are already kissing doorways,” a soft drawling voice says, wrapping around him. Corvo looks around and sees his ever elusive god, eyes black as a night and lips so familiarly soft.

“What are you doing here?” he asks as the Outsider approaches.

“Celebrating Yuletide, of course,” he says, standing impossibly close, so close that Corvo feels the smell of the Void. Outsider’s fingers, smooth and cool, brush against Corvo’s forehead and his light insobriety vanishes, his mind clear and sharp again. But not too much, because when he is not inebriated, he is foolishly drunk on love for his god.

He slides his arms around the Outsider’s torso, ever so thin and holdable, and presses him gently to the entryway.

“Thank you,” Corvo says, leaning forward to catch a kiss off the Outsider’s lips, but he pulls back cleverly, holding Corvo’s jaw. They dance around each other always, Outsider’s passive power and control and Corvo’s passion as well as submission. Sometimes one wins over the other, other times they let each other win.

The Outsider looks up a little and narrows his eyes. And his lips spread into a smirk as he looks back at Corvo who follows his gaze.

“It seems whoever put this little branch of mistletoe here knew that there would be people under it,” he drawls, and Corvo chuckles.

“Because clearly it was not you who put it there.”

“I am not as cryptic as you think, Corvo. If I want a kiss, I ask for that kiss,” he says, brushing Corvo’s thick hair.

“Oh yes, and this is why last time you had to talk about the virtues of romance to make me realise you want to kiss. Or when you told me how your most faithful followers yearn your attention and kiss your portraits, and that had to lead me to the idea that you want me to kiss you.”

“You are my most faithful follower, after all, Corvo,” the Outsider says, blushing only a little. Corvo laughs and presses him closer to his chest and to the doorway.

“So yes, I do think you put that mistletoe here and waited out the time for me to come back.”

“Well, since we are already under it, will we kiss?” Outsider says, his voice quiet, smiling and needy. And Corvo cannot help it, leans in and presses his lips to the insufferable deity. Their kiss is deep and warm and slow, as the man and his god enjoy each other. Somewhere further down the hall a grandfather’s clock, that has seen so much, strikes midnight. But Corvo and the Outsider don’t part their lips, only press closer, tongues tasting each other softly.

Soon they will hide in Corvo’s room, lest a guard or a maid notice them. And mistletoe will magically disappear, but the magic of festivity and Yule won’t. It will settle in the fireplace to watch as two lovers go into the night, surrounding each other with warmth and love and happiness that follows every Yuletide, and many more to come.

As Skyrim slowly eats my soul, I decided to write a tiny ficlet for my oc Xillith and Lydia, who travels with her. I have no idea if they can marry (I sure hope so!), so for now I just headcanon them smooching under the moon during camp nights and building the Lakeview mansion together!

Xillith/Lydia; T; - Lavender Kisses - 463 words

“I received word from the Jarl today that your deeds are being noticed,” Lydia says, sliding a stone across the blade of her axe. It tingles with magical energy a little, almost like a cat, but makes no harmful discharge.

“I’d like to hope so. Running around, slaying dragons and helping the people of Whiterun is not a hobby done out of good heart,” Xillith smiles, crushing some lavender in a bowl, its smell spreading in the air and mixing with honey-sweet wild flowers and smell of the lake.

“I hope you wouldn’t say that to the Jarl’s face, my Thane.”

Lydia’s expression of surprise is a little funny, but Xillith hurries to comfort her that she certainly wouldn’t. Speaking her mind has always been a feature that people had to come to terms with, especially considering that her mind wishes to be bold and not always witty in necessary situations. But for so many years she made do, and nothing prevents her from going on the same way.

She sighs and looks around to glance across the house. For now it’s a small one, a cottage on the edge of the lake, named after it as a Lakeview mansion. Xillith hopes that one day it will indeed become a mansion and a proper home.

Carefully she adds crushed lavender to the brew she is making and mixes it.

“When my mama baked tiny pies, she would sometimes add some lavender in them. I liked it a lot,” Lydia mentions, setting her axe aside and pulling feet up, arms resting on them. Her arms are strong and muscly, refined by years of hard work and training.

“It sounds delicious. Here, you should like this, then,” Xillith says and pours some of the brew in a small tankard, which immediately heats up with hot water in it. Lydia blows on it and makes a sip.

“Just like at home…”

And like that they fall quiet, enjoying the herbal tea Xillith prepared and bites of some rye bread. Peace like that is a treat both women enjoy, seeing as their adventures keep them on their feet all the time, alert and in fight. But here, by the lake, where foamy water coming in from the rivers and streams swishes in whispers, they can relax and enjoy each other’s company.

It is not long that Xillith moves closer and cups her companion’s cheek. Their lips press together - Xillith has to brush away her long black hair behind the pointed ear, lest it gets in the way - and their noses bumping sometimes. When the sun hides behind the mountain, they will head home to rest before the next day of travel. But that will be later. Right now, they want to kiss lavender off each other’s lips.

I am back at it again, playing Skyrim! I started last winter, but never finished it and eventually uninstalled it, but as nostalgia would have it, I decided to give the game another go. Yep, actually playing Skyrim for the "first" time.

I am enjoying it so so much. The views of the game are really stunning (I installed some mods to make the graphics and immersion of surroundings a little better). I keep pausing here and there just to stare at the trees or the sky or the rivers, at the cities and villages.

This time around I'm playing a high elf warrior lady named Xillith, and I thought, "oh, I'm going to play her like she is haughty and mean". Well, that didn't really work out :D Skyrim is not the best for developing your character that way, but it definitely gives you grounds to develop your OC "off-screen". I've already started putting together an aesthetic board on Pinterest!

I have to say that I really enjoy the quests and storylines in Skyrim. While they are a kind of fetch quests, they don't feel that way? There is often impact, the story is developing, you get more quests out of it. And it is often rewarding, not just in money or items, but getting reputation, larger gifts, friendship. I feel like I haven't touched upon even 20% of the game, things just keep happening :D

By now I am a Thane of Whiterum (I love that city???), a member of the Companions (though not turned into their "secret" something, and not sure I want to), I got Lydia tagging along with me everywhere, I got land from the Jarl of Falkreath - I have a HOUSE, how amazing is that! I trained as a Dragonborn, killed a few dragons... damn, there is just so much going on.

I want to play on and to see how it all unfolds. Not sure who to side with yet in regards to the Imperials/Stormcloaks conflict, but I'll see how it all works out and which allegiance or taking side with works best for my character. Oh and I definitely want to write some fics about my Xillith and Lydia, because you bet they are making out during camps by the fireside <3

( >>> some screenshots below )

At last we are entering the crazy pace of work days and weekends in the office, and I have whole 3 days off ahead of me to do what I want. In my plans I have some gaming, some writing and some art journaling. Days before everyone goes on vacation at work have been a little frantic, but I'm glad we are mostly past that.

It also occurs to me that soon it will be time for my annual wrap up, and I have surprisingly many things to say. Not just little things, but really big ones, decisions and changes. It scares me a little, but I think with all its ups and downs, it was a good year. I might be coming out of it a little more tired than usual, but that's okay. I can work on that next year!

Is anyone else making year wrap ups? I'd love to see what's been going on with you!

Recently I realised I haven't been looking into any new stories, be it a game or a book or a movie. Normally, I wallow in a single media product for a year, if not more, while consuming something smaller on the side. I feel like I am currently craving new stories.

Right now, or rather, I am still very much into Dishonored game series and I can't see myself stepping away from it any time soon. And I don't want to, it's my favourite thing to think and write about :D But I also want something new.

My gaming backlog is massive, I hope to diminish it a little over the Christmas and New Year holidays, but I also don't feel like I'm ready to fall head first into a brand new fandom. Building up myself in it is immensely hard and time consuming, and it seems I just can't enjoy media without participating in the fandom. We'll see how it goes.

For now I feel I want to write some stuff for Detroit Become Human. Perhaps, not plotty things, but little 1k stories, as I often like to.

With tumblr purge and silence happening tomorrow, I spent some time saving all my stories just in case. Luckily, I keep most stuff saved already, but there were asks and prompt fills that I didn't publish anywhere else or didn't save. So yay to that!

Anyone else preparing for the purge? It feels so final, but I see a lot of blogs saying goodbye and it makes me sad. Tumblr has always been my favourite social media platform and to see it go like this is saddening. I found amazing people there, inspiration and personal growth as well as skill improvement. I had a lot of fun. And I mean, I am staying till the end. I still think it might not get anywhere and tumblr will simply go on as always. But it also might be a real end to an important fandom place, and I want to recognize it and be ready for it.

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drift

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December 2020

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.adrift

phenominal cosmic power & itty-bitty space

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2020 review... not?

Another Dragon Age Playthrough

drift's musings

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Two cakes

Out on a great adventure to Teer Fradee

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Another return, hopefully for good

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great stories in just 50 gb

A Return

under the gildergreen tree

~ 2018 wrap up

until we kiss again

Lavender kisses

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finally, a breather

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